by Geoffery Moore | Nov 30, 2020 | Blog |
Guest post by Landon Saunders
Last week my friend and cardiologist, Dr. Andrew Torkelson, told me a patient asked him, “When was the best time in your life?” Without hesitation he replied to her, “This moment right now!”
At first, she was incredulous, but he said, “After reflection, I think she understood.” He then added, “We live in the present, and that is our best gift.”
What caught my attention was the realization that this conversation took place in the midst of this pandemic. So, how could “This moment right now” possibly be the answer to the question, “When was the best time in your life?” No wonder the woman was incredulous!
This story recalled for me the life of my father. One of my dad’s most admirable traits was his ability to embrace the awfulness of an experience without losing sight of living up to his best in that moment. Sometimes, “his best” was a gentle silence. Sometimes, it involved encouraging words. And he always looked for a way to express joy.
He endured many trials in his 77 years—tuberculosis as a young man, then later cancer, heart disease and strokes, as well as ups and downs in his working life. But, to the end, he exuded the spirit of “this moment right now” as the “best time” in his life.
My dad’s gift to me was the desire to live my own life in a way that expresses that same spirit. It worked for him, and it was the best possible gift to those around him—especially to this son.
The conversation my friend and doctor had with his patient was about the attitude we bring to life in all of its moments. Life is lived better, even in this perilous time, when we don’t forget that “we live in the present, and that is our best gift.”
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 27, 2020 | Blog |
Guest post by Landon Saunders
For many years I’ve been intrigued and challenged by the word “respect.” In so many ways it goes to the very heart of what it means to be human. It places at center stage the way we see each other, the way we regard each other.
The word suggests “looking again.”
As I’ve wrestled with this word, I’ve come to see the importance of not labeling another human being. Labels reduce a person, limiting them to our view. I remember seeing a line several years ago that stuck with me: “All labels are libels.” Too often that is true.
Labels never tell the full story of a human being. Maybe all of us fall short of who we really are. Who we really are is rooted in the highest value ever assigned—our value as a human being. Respect says we never lose sight of that highest value found in every human being on this beautiful earth.
Change for the better in our own “self” and in the self of the “other” is always speeded up when we are treated as the royalty suggested by this highest assigned value.
So, respect means I will always give a person a second look. This is clumsy, but I “spect” the other, then I “re-spect” the other. We re-look, again and again, always leading with love. A contest over who can say the worst things about the other has no winners.
Let us love one another. And, if we can’t love, then let us at least strive to “re-look” again and still again.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 23, 2020 | Blog |
The award-winning German film maker Wim Wenders made two movies (Wings of Desire and Faraway, So Close) in which angels talk wonderingly about what it must be like to be human—to drink coffee, to experience warmth, to touch another human being, to say “Ah!” or “Oh!” because not everything is known in advance.
Nina Lesowitz and Beth Sammons capture that same spirit of wonder at being human in their little book, Living Life As A Thank You. For example, they tell the story of Irina Lazar. Irina experienced a life-changing insight at the age of 15 when she was standing in her closet trying to find something to wear.
“I had a difficult childhood, not because of abuse or neglect, just a hopelessness that followed me around like a little dark cloud,” she recalled. “I couldn’t tell you the source of that sadness. But as I was standing in my closet, I had a moment when I suddenly felt the veil of sadness lift off of me. I felt that I could do and be anything I wanted. I felt empowered, confident, and most of all, happy…My life opened up, I felt alive and ready to take on any opportunity.”
Seventeen years later when she was in her thirties, Irina reflected on what that moment had come to mean to her:
“I feel appreciation in my cells every minute of every day. It is the fuel that pulsates through me, driving me to enjoy everything in life, even mundane things like washing dishes, paying bills, and running errands.”
Is Irina just lucky? Or is she pointing us to a deeper, richer insight into what it can mean to be thankful, grateful, appreciative for life its own self?
When little children are playing and dancing, they often seem to be exuberantly joyful for no particular reason—just because they are! They are a pure celebration of existence.
In this Thanksgiving week, Irina’s story reminds us that there may be even more to being thankful than we think there is. I like the idea that gratitude for being alive and being human can actually be a kind of fuel that can help us enjoy everything in life.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 19, 2020 | Blog |
Guest post by Landon Saunders
For many years I’ve been intrigued and challenged by the word “respect.” In so many ways it goes to the very heart of what it means to be human. It places at center stage the way we see each other, the way we regard each other.
The word suggests “looking again.”
As I’ve wrestled with this word, I’ve come to see the importance of not labeling another human being. Labels reduce a person, limiting them to our view. I remember seeing a line several years ago that stuck with me: “All labels are libels.” Too often that is true.
Labels never tell the full story of a human being. Maybe all of us fall short of who we really are. Who we really are is rooted in the highest value ever assigned—our value as a human being. Respect says we never lose sight of that highest value found in every human being on this beautiful earth.
Change for the better in our own “self” and in the self of the “other” is always speeded up when we are treated as the royalty suggested by this highest assigned value.
So, respect means I will always give a person a second look. This is clumsy, but I “spect” the other, then I “re-spect” the other. We re-look, again and again, always leading with love. A contest over who can say the worst things about the other has no winners.
Let us love one another. And, if we can’t love, then let us at least strive to “re-look” again and still again.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 16, 2020 | Blog |
Sometimes the best advice is bad advice. When the world seems a little crazy and our hearts are weighed down and even the wisest words don’t seem to help much, a little questionable advice can help us laugh at the absurdities.
Someone has said that the quickest way to enlightenment is to lighten up and not take things quite so seriously. In that spirit, I offer for your consideration and amusement the following bad, specious and facetious advice.
“Never eat anything at one sitting that you can’t lift.” – Miss Piggy, one of the muppets
“Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don’t need it; if you are sick, you shouldn’t take it.” – Henry Ford
“Never learn to do anything: If you don’t learn, you’ll always find someone else who’ll do it for you.” – Mark Twain
“When lying, be emphatic and indignant, thus behaving like your children.” – William Feather
“Never lend books, for no one ever returns them; the only books I have in my library are books that other folks have lent me.” – Anatole France
“If you’re going to do something tonight that you’re sorry for, tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman
“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say, then say the opposite.” — Sam Levenson
And finally, a quote that some may find useful right now…
“Personally, I find the best way to relieve anxieties is to shout an old-fashioned curse on your enemies….Simply rear back and shout at them:
May you get an obscene phone call from your psychiatrist!
May you invest heavily in a solar heating system and may every day be cloudy.
May your son work in Hawaii as a volcano sweep.
– Phyllis Diller
It’s all in good fun, of course. And that’s my wish for all of us this week—to find and create some good fun. The heavier the news, the more important it is, I believe, to nurture lightness of heart—not to deny reality but to help us face it in a constructive rather than a destructive way.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 12, 2020 | Blog |
Guest post by Landon Saunders
A young father found out that he would soon die. He thought about what he might wish for his children, and what he decided was closely tied to something he had tried to bring to their lives each day when he was well.
As this father was tucking his children into bed, he would talk to them about the fun they had that day. Then, every night, he would ask them this question: “Well, what do you think? Do you think we should find some more fun tomorrow, or do you think we should skip a day?”
Sometimes the father and his children would tease each other a bit, joking that maybe they should miss a day. But they would always decide that they should definitely find some more fun tomorrow.
Now, that may not sound like the most profound question that’s ever been asked, but, to this father, it was full of meaning. He wanted for his children—even after he was gone—to ask themselves as they went to sleep each night, “Should I find some more fun tomorrow, or, as Dad used to ask, should I skip a day?”
Human beings have an incredible gift for fun—fun being a child’s word for joy. Throughout our lives, we will encounter people, places and things that can distract from this gift of joy, but don’t take the bait. Every day has within it the capacity for the experience of joy.
We all can participate in the legacy that this wonderful father left for his children and ask ourselves, “Should I find some more fun tomorrow, or should I skip a day?”
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 9, 2020 | Blog |
In his first inaugural address, with the dark clouds of possible civil war threatening, Abraham Lincoln said a remarkable thing:
“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
We know, of course, what happened in the days after he spoke those words. The Civil War began, and it was the bloodiest, most devastating conflict in American history, taking the lives of an estimated 750,000 individuals—not counting the wounded.
How difficult it is to keep listening to our better angels! And yet, what a crucially important task. The darker the clouds, the more we need to keep reaching up for our better, higher self—for that more generous, more genuine, more generative, more gentle self.
And the good news is, those better angels are still alive and well. They are working quietly behind the scenes, as they always do.
We see them in the healthcare workers and other essential workers who get up every day and go to work. We see them in the parents and grandparents raising the children to be in touch with their own better angels. We see them in community volunteers and in every individual who seeks to do the right thing, make peace, and share joy.
In fact, the better angels may be even more powerful than we think. In 2011, Steven Pinker of Harvard, published his book, The Better Angels Of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined.
Pinker makes a convincing case that, despite appearances, the world is actually less violent today than perhaps it has ever been. He describes the “better angels” as the forces and attitudes and developments that have helped make it that way.
But there is still much to do, of course, and every person is needed.
Yes, listening to and responding to our “better angels” is challenging. But it may be the most important work we can do.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 6, 2020 | Blog |
Guest post by Landon Saunders
Beethoven once wrote to a friend, “Slight misunderstandings often occur between us, but they only serve to strengthen the relationship.
Misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships are, of course, unavoidable. They’re like thunderstorms. We always seem to get caught in them without our umbrellas. But, handled with the right attitude, misunderstandings can clarify, and conflicts can even strengthen a relationship.
Here’s how: we can develop the courage to speak honestly with each other and discuss disagreements openly, and we can learn to sort through our feelings and determine which ones are caused by another person and which have been self-inflicted. So often, the things we call “personality conflicts” are really unrecognized conflicts with our own selves.
So, first, look for the source of the conflict within yourself. Then you can more easily decide to be open to true dialogue. You can reconsider the ways you’ve always done or thought or been. It isn’t a matter of jumping through anyone else’s hoops or blindly accepting another person’s point of view. It’s a matter of being open and free to change if you see a better way. It’s about a willingness to be truly present—even in conflict—with family, friends, and colleagues.
Yes, being open can be a painful and vulnerable experience, but the rewards are great. “Better to be wounded in the battle for love than always to walk in armor,” says Margaret Fuller. Don’t let anything keep you from doing what you need to do to enhance and improve and strengthen those important relationships in your life. Because, on the last day of your life, they will matter a great deal. To win at relationships—even through troubles, misunderstandings and conflicts—is one of the most important ways of winning as a human being.
by Geoffery Moore | Nov 2, 2020 | Blog |
With all the adversity and distress we’re facing now (and will be facing for months to come), it just feels like the right moment to again remind us of a little poem that I shared earlier this year.
It’s from Martin Tupper, English writer and poet:
Never give up!—if adversity presses,
Providence wisely has mingled the cup.
And the best counsel in all your distresses,
Is the stout watchword, “Never give up!”
(You might even want to print this out and put it up on your fridge or mirror where you can see it every day.)
As Abraham Lincoln might have put it: We must never give up seeking to follow the better angels of our nature. I think we have an idea of some of the things that might suggest.
Never give up on the meaning and value of every life, including yours and mine.
Never give up being a peace maker and loving our neighbors.
Never give up believing there is more to my story and more to your story…and more to our story as a nation.
Never give up fighting for people, not against them.
Never give up on creating joy and passing it on.
Never give up learning and growing and going deeper as a person.
…Or make up your own list.
But as you think about your list, remember Churchill’s speech to his people at the height of World War II, when London was being bombed every night.
Here is that speech in its entirety, given in Churchill’s famous growl:
“Never, never, never, never, never, never give up!”
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